


Takeout in Bethlehem

by ignipes



Category: House M.D.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-06
Updated: 2005-12-06
Packaged: 2017-10-03 10:56:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignipes/pseuds/ignipes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A conversation over a Christmas dinner of Chinese takeout.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Takeout in Bethlehem

"Mongolian beef, fried rice, and egg rolls." House collapsed against the cushions of his sofa, tapping his chopsticks thoughtfully against the takeout container. "That's what the three wise men brought to baby Jesus."

"That makes perfect sense. Good gifts. They didn't call them 'wise men' for nothing." Wilson sipped his beer and put his feet up on the coffee table, not even bothering to open his eyes. "Even in ancient Bethlehem there was a takeout Chinese place. I wonder what it was called? The Golden Manger Pagoda? Shining Star Palace?"

"There's always a takeout Chinese place, everywhere you go. Besides, what use does a baby have for frankincense and myrrh?"

"Do you even know what frankincense and myrrh are?"

"Doesn't matter. Unless they're Aramaic for diapers and formula, baby Jesus had no use for them."

"Of course not. Egg rolls are much more appropriate. Must've been hard for baby Jesus to chew, though. Newborns don't have teeth, not even the immaculately conceived ones."

"Are you doubting the masticating abilities of the baby Jesus? That's sacrilege, you unchristian heathen."

"Well, I am Jewish."

"So was he."

"Maybe Mary chewed it for him and regurgitated, like a bird."

"Jimmy. That's disgusting."

"Yet biologically possible all the same."

"It's possible that the Virgin Mary was a bird?"

"Parthenogenesis. Like in chickens."

"Damn, you're smart. Oncologist, ornithologist, and Biblical theologian, all in one boyishly charming package. No wonder I keep you around."

"You keep me around because I'm the only person willing to put up with you."

"I said you were smart, not that you were wise in the ways of personal relationships, because we both know that isn't--"

"Are you going to finish that rice?"

"Are you going to avoid the change in subject?"

"I'm going to try. The rice?"

"I'm done. Help yourself."


End file.
